It was towards the end of October
The leaves are falling
The weather is cool and warm
at the same time
It was the kind of weather
where apples would turn blood red
and be perfectly ripe to bite into
My surroundings were unfamiliar
Like a white void of emptiness
Waiting to be filled with memories
Boxes of furniture,
loaded with things that
remind me of Jersey city
still scatter the floors
of my new Long Island home
The house we bought was
much bigger than the apartment
I lived in with Nano
Now, she’s almost two
hours away

I walk into the colorful
second grade classroom
Seeing it in person was
strange, after being online
for the first month of school
Faces of kids in masks I had
seen on a pixelated online screen were
easier to distinguish
I try to blend in with the
other kids, but it is obvious
that I am a
square peg in a round hole
The teacher tells me to stand
and pronounces my name wrong
I don’t correct her,
in fear of embarrassment in
front of all these
unknown faces,
staring at me as if
I’m from another planet

Recess time comes
Unlike me, the other kids are just
having another regular day
I walk outside and stare around
at the dozens of kids bolting across
the blacktops
The autumn trees waved
their branches at me
in disappointment
I was once a social butterfly
I used to be the life of the party.
Now, the breeze brushes against my
coat as I wander in an
unfamiliar environment
Soon, I gather up the courage
to join my peers
A girl with curly black hair smiles at
me, gesturing for me to join her
group. I went back to class
with a grin spread wide across my face
RRRRIIINNGGGG signaled the end of
the day, and people bustled
out into the hallway

I made a goal for myself
that night, as I laid down
staring at my bedroom ceiling
A new fire ignited into my
steps with my restored courage
Sparking conversation with kids
around me, I expected judgement.
But a spark of light seemed to appear
in their eyes as I spoke
The teacher calls attendance once again
This time, I correct the way
she says my name

From then, I focused more on the
bright leaves, rather than the
gloomy clouds that hung in the sky
New things are difficult to adjust to,
but like the seasons blend into each other,
Little shifts by one degree
and then another
And somehow the falling leaves
become falling snow
Springs forth flowers
and then a beaming summer